I was out cruising in central Utah, where there is generally no one on the road, because it helps clear my mind and I genuinely love driving my car. I admit that I was on average looking at triple digits on my speedometer and that is generally frowned upon by those in blue. But what happened next made me giggle and laugh like mad.
I was on the road alone cruising when I rounded a bend in the road and to my heart wrenching surprise I see a highway patrol car sitting off to the side of the road. In central Utah the north and south bound lanes are separated by a wide grassy median with the occasional dirt breaks for officers like this one I have just laid eyes on to either wait for speeders or to turn around for said speeders. Well I saw my new found friend on the northbound lane clicking the southbound lane, which I was the sole occupant of for the last two miles.
You know that feeling you get in your chest when you get caught doing something you shouldn’t be doing? And the slight mental check you do when you are about to get yelled at for doing said thing you shouldn’t be doing? Also the slight need to suddenly wet yourself? Well I had those kind of feelings happen in the split second I saw this white charger sitting there, picturing the officer gripping his steering wheel harder as I came around the bend grinning like a like a kid on Christmas morning.
He had me. No question. No denying. He just plain had me.
Looking immediately looking down to evaluate the damage I saw I that I want just in trouble, but in big trouble. Like take me to jail kind of trouble. And I said the most elegant statement that came to my mind.
I pronounced all four letters so clearly I could have used that one pronouncement as an example of English profanity to anyone learning our very elegant language.
I was looking at a number that most cars couldn’t reach without a rocket attached to it.
Again the four letter word is in the air. And then I saw his lights go on.
Gut reaction was to slam on my breaks , but not hard enough to go flying uncontrollably of the road. I pulled over, rolled down my window, and pulled out my license all before the officer had a chance to hit the dirt median to turn behind me.
He turned and aimed right behind me with his lights on. Then suddenly he flips the lights off and cruises by me at a gentle pace.
I sat there stunned. Then I started laughing. It was gentle at first, then it went to a more manic and maniacal. I couldn’t believe I didn’t get a ticket. It still baffles me.